So back to the story of Patrick and I.
We began dating in the beginning of May 2012. Let’s just say, summer 2012 was the best summer of my life. I think there were a lot of factors that contributed to Pat’s success of winning me over so quickly. Besides the fact he treated me like a princess, did the inevitable of opening me up to someone besides my family and close girlfriends, was a really good cuddler, and soOoOooO good lookin…he loved adventure. I think that’s what did it.
We went on so many adventures that summer. A few of my favorites include:
Caving up Logan Canyon
Rock Climbing at City of Rocks
slack-lining all over the place
And my personal favorite…
Becoming an “Ultimate True Aggie” which, btw, I don’t think anyone has done before…
Let’s just say, it was an awesome summer. And I was in trouble.
Patrick was 23 and looking for a wife.
I was 19 and looking for a good time and someone to call my boyfriend.
I just kept pushing the inevitable to the back of my mind. School started and things got tricky. I now had to balance being a full-time student, a part-time employee, a girlfriend, a roommate…you know how college-life is.
As the days got cooler and the trees changed colors, I realized I had a difficult decision to make. I couldn’t keep dragging Patrick along, with no commitment and no answers.
But I was 19! I’d never dated anyone seriously like this before. I didn’t know what I was doing. All I knew was that I loved this boy and wanted to be with him. But I wasn’t ready to get married. I was convinced that I just wasn’t ready. (Remember, I still had a mild case if independentitis. I “needed” to go on a study abroad…)
For weeks, I was a mess. One of the hardest things in this life (for me at least) is deciding what I actually want. There was a constant battle raging inside of me. A constant mess of conflicted confusion. It was exhausting.
At one point, I broke down. I realized I couldn’t live a flip-flopping life of not knowing what to do. So, I made my decision. I told myself I would make a decision and stick with it.
I decided I wanted to marry Patrick.
And I’ve never been happier.
Now I hope you understand, I didn’t tell this story just to tell the story. I told it because I know there are girls out there struggling with this exact same decision. Young, in love and completely conflicted.
But let me just tell you. DON’T. GIVE. UP.
Have some faith. As cheesy as it sounds, believe in yourself. Believe that it can work out, even if every single possible thing is working against you.
Trust me, it’s worth the fight.